I usually try to stay upbeat when things go wrong. The way I see it, everything that goes wrong is just an opportunity for character building. However, I just have to put it out there, that I have met my match: showering in a shower/bathroom that has been infested with first mold and maggots, and now flies, is definitely not my favorite form of character building.

A little background. In one of my previous posts, I talked about how I had been gifted with one of the glorious combination shower-toilet-sink-rooms (please note sarcasm) that didn’t have a separate space for showering, but rather a shower head smack in the middle of the ceiling, right next to the toilet and somewhat above the sink. To clarify, there isn’t really a visible drain for the shower. Instead, there are raised tiles with spaces between them, and the water just sits under the raised tiles (and sometimes, on top of the tiles), until it slowly disappears through some unseen hole in the ground. Par for the course, some of the tiles are broken, so the ground wobbles when you walk on it, and one of the tiles comes up completely when you step on any of the corners. This tile is how we confirmed there was mold growing on the ground under the tiles (in addition to the very unfortunate mildew smell in the room). It’s not surprising, then, that there were maggots running around underneath these tiles. Which is really, incredibly gross. I was showering with maggots! On the bright side, they pretty much stayed out of sight. The maggots chilled under the tiles, I showered above the tiles, all was (somewhat) good in our relationship.

The maggots have turned into flies.

The silver lining here is that they aren’t huge, buzzing flies. However, they’re tiny little black flies and they are everywhere. Fordham is a Jesuit Catholic university, I’ve gone to Catholic school my entire life – it’s not surprising that the plagues of Egypt came to mind when I saw our fly infestation. Surprisingly (or maybe not), the bible was absolutely on point:

“Thus says the Lord, “Let My people go, that they may serve Me. For if you do not let My people go, behold, I will send swarms of flies on you and on your servants and on your people and into your houses; and the houses of the Egyptians will be full of swarms of flies, and also the ground on which they dwell” (Exodus 8:20-22).

Seriously, the fourth plague has been called upon the place which I dwell! Change “Egyptian” to “Fordham Liberal Arts Student” and it’s my situation! What do I do with that?! An alternate title for this post could be, The Irony of Catholic University Housing.

Let me tell you, I was handling it rather well when the flies were only swarming the bathroom. But then, to my horror, it hit me – that’s my shower room, too!!!

Showering with flies is not ideal. I hate bugs, but I told myself all the cliche things – they’re smaller than me, they can’t actually hurt me, don’t let them have power over your fear, etc. I started my shower with the optimistic attitude that perhaps this would help me get over my fear of bugs. Like really extreme immersion therapy that I didn’t even have to pay a professional for (although I guess I’m paying for this housing, so I did actually pay for it). However, I quickly realized that immersion therapy is not the way to go. And I need this fixed ASAP or I need to find another place to shower. The water spewing out of the ceiling got all of the flies that were chilling on the ground riled up, and had them flying around my body in circles. I would compare it to a fly tornado (I’m telling you, the fourth plague!). After much whimpering, shrieking, jumping around and waving my hands at the flies, they seemed to somewhat settle to trying to rest on my legs. Positive side, I took the quickest shower I have ever taken in my entire life and saved some water. Hope you appreciate my trauma, environment. This ordeal ended with me having to shake out the towel I had hung up in the corner to get the flies off, and at this point, that didn’t even phase me.

I escaped the shower/bathroom and determined that I’m using the building’s public bathrooms and finding a shower anywhere else but here until this problem is fixed. I’m praying the plague ends quickly. I’ve also decided that perhaps if I pretend there are only a couple flies (as opposed to the actual dozens), named Bert and Ernie, flying around in there, then perhaps it won’t be so horrifying (this technique has not worked so far, but I have some hope left).

Here’s a pic I snapped of Bert and Ernie (and friends); they’re the tiny black demons dots you can see. This is only a tiny portion of the flies that are zipping around in there.

My advice on surviving a plague such as this, if you have the incredible bad luck to be in a similar situation?

1. Avoidance is key. Avoid the problem as much as possible.

2. File a complaint with anyone who has any pull. You might be ignored (I’ve been there), but eventually, you’ll get through to someone.

3. Go public with it. People start to care very quickly once their online reputation is at stake.

4. Remember that in Exodus the people were eventually freed (the ones that didn’t die, at least). Hopefully, you will be one of the people to survive the plague. I believe in you!

5. Keep your humor. It’s just a little character building. After it’s over, anything else that comes your way will be a piece of cake!

 

xox,

Lauren